The Samurai Always Wins
|Appears In:||Act II|
The Samurai Always Wins is Cody Hackins' testimony song. Unlike previous witnesses, who lied on the stand to cover up their own guilt, Cody presents a new challenge to Phoenix. Cody is a child with an over-active imagination who hero-worships The Steel Samurai. As such, he cannot fathom the idea of his hero losing, and has trouble separating reality from the television series. Phoenix must force the truth out of Cody, without being too harsh on the child. Edgeworth also behaves strangely, becoming suspiciously protective of the witness despite his normally ruthless nature.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Reprises: The Steel Samurai Theme Song (Path to Glory)
Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth,
The Judge, Will Powers
When the moon is bright with a pale, blue light
And trouble is nearby.
Only one man fights for what is right:
The Steel Samurai!
And all heroes know when it's time to go
And face their destined fate!
For who should show, but his deadly foe,
The Evil Magistrate!
I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great!
|PHOENIX:||I'm to understand that you're a big Samurai fan.|
You watch the show every week.
Now you have a hand in being a hero to this man,
The truth is the only thing I seek.
With a samurai punch and a samurai slash,
|EDGEWORTH:||Wright! The truth is, this fragile youth is |
Sure of that ruthless attack!
So, stop pressing him,
Hoping that he'll crack!
|PHOENIX:||I'm trying to keep the Steel Samurai out of jail...|
Please, if you could, try to go into more detail.
|CODY (PHOENIX):||What I saw that day was a grim display-|
An evil man's demise. (Uh-oh.)
And I stood nearby when the Samurai
shot lasers from his eyes! (Wait, what?)
And he flew up high, reaching to the sky
A bright metallic sheen!
The hero chose to strike a pose
And then he flew the scene!
It was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!
Cody, what sort of murderer uses a "samurai slap!?"
Or for that matter, shoots lasers from his eyes?
Clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination--
You know as well as I do that the witness is being vague!
He still hasn't testified to seeing the finishing stab.
And I think I know why...
Cody, you have shown you've got a camera of your own.
You never miss any shots.
If you could just show a picture of the killing blow,
it could help us connect the dots...
'Cause you keep all pictures in an album titled "Path to Glory."
With the killing blow from every show to tell a hero's story!
And I'll tell you this, something is amiss,
for there's no reason or rhyme...
And for what it's worth, no way on Earth
Did Cody see this crime!
This is the last time!
Mr. Wright, what is the meaning of this?
|Please, no more lies, |
I have tried to use a light touch.
I'm trying to preserve the
Show that you love so much.
|With a samurai kick and a samurai punch |
And a samurai triple-suplex-crunch,
The Samurai flipped and spun a bunch--
He'd win no matter the cost!
With a samurai chop and a samurai slap,
The Magistrate felt a sickening snap,
And he was about to take a dirt nap,
'Cause the Samurai's never lost!
Don't be alarmed, for no
With a samurai dodge and a samurai block
Wright, you dunce, stop this at once,
Cody, calm down.
And he did it all while saving a village of nuns
|Wright, you fool, this kid's in school, |
You treat him like a thug--have you no mercy?
Stop wasting this courtroom's time
And quit acting so smug.
|I don't mind |
If I'm jailed downtown.
I just don't want to
Let all the kiddies down.
|Please, tell the truth,|
This is just a fictitious tale--OBJECTION!
I'm trying to keep
The Steel Samurai out of jail.
|With a samurai parry and a samurai guard, |
The Magistrate shivered, all beaten and scarred.
The Steel Samurai kicked his butt so hard,
It left permanent footprints!
With the Samurai Spear gleaming in the sun,
His Samurai battle almost done,
He had his fun and had finally won
|Wright, don't bluff, that's quite enough, |
Now cease this reprimand--OBJECTION!
A small child alone in court
You cannot understand!
|If I go, |
Promise me one thing:
No kids know
'Bout this merciless killing...
|Calm yourself, Mr. Wright, |
I don't want to see a fight!
Please one person at a time,
We can figure out this crime!
Who do you think you have fooled?
We are done, everyone!
|CODY:||'Cause the Samurai ALWAYS wins!|
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